about my weight. Sure I have lost some since June 1 but I should be in the 220's if not smaller with all the walking I have been doing. I know I can't dwell on my past and all I can do is look at my future and see what I can change and how I can change it so I don't repeat the past. So I have decided to go back to the gym. I was going to start when I moved out of the house and got my feet back on the ground but I think I have to do it know, I think it will help me feel better. I also dcided to go back to WW on Monday nights. Why Monday's well because it is the cloese to the weekend to help me stay in control.
I'm not sure if I already talked about this or not, but I have decided to re-vamp myself from head to toe. I am going to get all new shoes, pants, tops, outfits, bra's and underware. I'm walking in to September as a changed person (inside and out). I think this will not only help me in the weight loss department of my life but also in the maturity part. If I want to grow and start feeling like an adult I have to feel and act like one. I want there to be more to my life and I want to get out there and see it.
I know this change won't happen over night and I don't expect it too. B and I have been together for almost eight years and in that time I found out a lot about me... some things good, some things not so good, and some things that need to be changed.
So I am starting tomorrow by going back to the gym. Over the weekend I am going to make up a gym timetable for the next two weeks and I stick to it, I need to stick to it. Then in two weeks I will keep the gym going and will add something else to my new life.
August is NOT going to end like July did no way! I will make a difference in my life!

On that note I will sign off with this. Here today, gone tomorrow!

Okay so here I am again, not in any better shape with my eating but I know its coming. I worked on Tuesday night at my PT job and for dinner I had a hot dog, then at the end of my shift I had a slice of cheese pizza. Yesterday (Wed 07/23) I went to the doctor’s for my physical and it was not pretty. I was so tense, that it hurt, oh my goodness did it hurt. My friend and I had plans to get our hair done in Toronto, so we went for lunch first…Yep it was the site of another ugly moment for me. I had a whopper, with a poutine and to top it off I had three cheese sticks (my friend at one, or I would have had four). Then for the drive to Toronto we stopped and got an Ice Capp from Tim Horton’s (yep my idea again).

As for my hair, I think it looks amazing. It is so curly. And I came up with a great plan as I was under the water getting my hair washed. Every weekend that I weight in and I lose my “treat” is going to be going to a cheap hair place and getting my hair washed. I love it and I know it will make me feel like a million bucks!

On the way home, I decided to stop at a strip plaza, and I went in to Reitman’s and look at some skorts. The only one that totally fit me nice, I didn’t really like the colour so I didn’t get any of them. My next stop was Addition Elle; here I tried on a lot of nice clothes. And as much as I am in my over draft and my credit cards are maxed, if I found something I liked I was going to buy it. Well I tried on a pair of jeans that I loved but they were way to long and big in the waist so I asked for a small size. The smaller size was a different cut and I could get them on do them up but they were way to small for my liking. I also tried on some tops, tops that I would never have tried on before and thought go crazy and find new and interesting things to wear. Well I put on two tops that I just loved. One was a purple colour and one was a smokey gray. The first size I tried on was a 1x and they were too big  so I decided to try on an x and guess what … yep too small. So I didn’t end up buying any thing, as much as I wanted to. So I think I will go back and try in the purple one again and hopefully buy it for my cousins wedding.

On my way home the plaza that I stopped at is right by a Jamaican take out place that I love. So I went in and bought a rice and stew beef, for my lunch today (Thurs) and for dinner I just ate a really yummy patty and coco bread (I’m sure the points are high with this) but it was so good! Then of course on my way to mom and dad’s I picked up another ice cap (but I’m not really sure why) and when I got home I ate a bowl of my lunch for today. It just looked so good I couldn’t wait .

So this brings me up to date in my life. I hope I can get back to writing everyday, but for now I will just keep plugging along and write when I am in the mood.

As for B and I things are still good between us. I am going to start moving things out of the hose this weekend and I hope to be living back at my parents by the middle of August.

I’m leaving my blog today with this in mind; I am only as healthy as my last meal.

What happened to me in week #7? I completely fall off my wagon (after seeing 229 in the scale) and right on to the food truck. It started on Thursday with the hamburgers, and dollar fries. Then on Friday we ordered lunch out and I got a calzone (yes it was gross and I still ate it). On my way home B called me and asked me to pick up pizza. So I did and ate three with him and two more in hiding (why!!). Then on Saturday before work I ate; oh my goodness I can’t believe I am going to write this. I had five more slices of pizza. This finished the leftovers of the pizza. Then at work, I have been doing so great by not having anything to eat I ended up having a grilled chicken pita. It was really good and I don’t think that bad for me. Now I’m on my way home on Saturday night and instead of having Burger King I decided to stop in at Loblaw’s and get; oh my goodness I can’t believe I am going to write this… I got French fries, chicken fingers, cheese, gravy, potato chips and dip. I had the chips and dip open before I drove out of the parking lot, and I was munching on them. When I got home I put some, okay a lot of French Fries in the oven a long with the chicken fingers on another baking sheet. The guy who rents out our apartment is always up stairs talking to us, most of the time I don’t mind it, but Saturday night I did! I wanted to eat my crap in silence, and alone. So he finally went back downstairs to his apartment, until I was done then we were going to take the dogs for a walk. I don’t think he was down there for ten minutes when he came back up and told me my doggy throw up in his living room. What pissed me off, was not the fact that Jackson was sick, was not the fact that I had to clean it up, I was pissed off because I just want to eat my junk food in private and I didn’t want anyone to see it. He could have stood at the doorway and told me, but OOOH NO he had to walk towards me as he talked and told me what happened. So I got made hid my food so he couldn’t really see what I was eating and went downstairs and cleaned up the mess. LEAVE ME A LONE! Okay, this brings me to Sunday. Started off with a walk in the rain with Jackson, then I came home and had some chips and dip. Then the renter dude returned. He sat upstairs with me for three freak’en hours. Finally he went down to make some lunch and in that time I called a friend to see if she wanted to go for lunch. We ended up going to a place in Port Perry called the highland. Really yummy place, great food and HUGE portions J. I had chicken parm. with a Greek salad, and salad. The chicken had to of been at least 8ozs I have never seen a chicken breast that big. At home for the rest of the night I had some chips and dip (wow these are lasting a long time) oh and some chocolate chip cookies.
Now today is Monday the second day of week #8 and it was no better. I started out great; I had my weight watchers bagel with marble cheese and a glass of milk. I took in apple fritters for all my co-workers, but for some stupid reason I ended up eating one. I took my lunch today then a co-worker asked me to share some French Fries. Of course I didn’t say no, please! Instead I said sure, I have a sandwich and it will go good. When I got home tonight I had some more chips and dip (B ate the rest for me, so they are finally gone) and my dinner was not totally bad, I had a pork chop, with brown rice, some potato salad and some mac salad.
After writing this all out, feel a lot better now and I am ready to start me day fresh tomorrow, one the right foot.
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As for B and I we have reached a decision. I am moving out, he is keeping the house and paying me $10,000 plus the bedroom suite. As much as others may disagree with this, I am very happy with my decision. I hope to be moved out my September. I question my eating and wonder if this had anything to do with it. I don’t think so, because I do this every couple of months and that is why it is so hard for me to lose this weight. I decided when I move back to my parents, I am joining the gym again and I am going to take my weight loss to the top of the charts. I am going to be selfish with my time and so more things that benefit my health and my new lifestyle.

I am leaving my blog on this note; I can never give up.

My day started off on the right foot. I had a small ch. milk ( not a large one) with a almond bar. Then for lunch I had a 12 inch breaded chicken from Mr. Sub (no cheese). Then I talked to B on the way home. About the house (maybe not a good idea). I ended up going to No Frills to get a few things, one being re-made fresh hamburgers. There is four in a package. When I got home I put everything away. About an hour of being home I decided to make the hamburgers and some dollar chips WHY WHY WHY! I wan't really hungry, not only that when I was cooking everything I had OJ with some rum in it WHY WHY WHY .

I'm not sure why I decided to eat two hamburgers with dollar fries, I don't usually eat out if stress or emotion. So I really don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I was thinking I should eat something as I didn't eat dinner. I truly don't know what my thinking was.

I know I have to be careful as I did a mid week WI and I LOVED the number I saw.
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On a totally different topic, I was talking to G-Man today and he told me he liked my sence of humor ?!?! and that he had a really good time last night as well. I want to think because of me, but I have to be careful not to push to hard too fast. There is too much involed right now.

Anyhow I am leaving my blog with this tonight...Should I tell B everything I know or not? Maybe one day I can answer this question.

Well I have to say I had a really great day/night. For breakfast I had a skim milk, with a almond bar. For lunch I had Greek (potaote, rice, chicken and salad) and for dinner I had some bar munchies (I totally didn't over do it at all) but I think I did with the drinking. I had a rum and diet coke, a diet coke, a seabreeze, a cooler and two yummy shooters I feel GOOD!

I was with G all night but there is this girl that I work with also there and she was like a fly on poop. Parden my mouth but this was my night to show him that I was interested and I couldn't because she was in "our space".

It's funny. We talk about all differnet places, where each other should go and we never seem to make plans for "us to go" I know I have to leave my house and my situation before I can start anything to involded but I would like to start something with him, even if it's just a friendship for now. .

I am closing my blog with this tonight.... I had a really good night...